tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post8383780475589017457..comments2023-10-16T01:08:13.590-07:00Comments on Surviving Amelia: How does one have it allroseduncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16146205623848645811noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-13287918063113203422010-01-26T10:49:20.255-08:002010-01-26T10:49:20.255-08:00Ooops- the above post by "Mary" is reall...Ooops- the above post by "Mary" is really by Colleen- I didn't realize my daughter had her email signed into the computer.Colleen Loehrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048649046228516513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-58380632778468602022010-01-26T10:40:09.816-08:002010-01-26T10:40:09.816-08:00Another billionaire gone belly up- what an apt des...Another billionaire gone belly up- what an apt description. I've always been befuddled by the folks who seem to have it all and are desperately unhappy. It definitely gives one pause in the pursuit to having it all, and what exactly constitutes "having it all" means is a great question- probably the best question that can ever be asked. The answer has changed for me over the years, and continues to change. I love Amy's comment that one indispensable ingredient in having it all is to have time. I also treasure the exquisite occurrence of free time when it occurs in my day. I read on a website of a woman named Nirmala recently "Alone time is my most valuable resource." This really stuck with me. Speaking of what having it all means to women in particular, I would recommend one of my favorite books of all time, it's called "Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Wisdom" by Rita Marie Robinson. Thanks for a great post Naomi, and I love Meryl too, she was awesome in the laptop scene in "It's Complicated."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-7906525393916717952010-01-26T08:17:06.114-08:002010-01-26T08:17:06.114-08:00My friend Suzanne gave me "The Good Mother&qu...My friend Suzanne gave me "The Good Mother" just as I'd given birth to my daughter. I read it with one hand and eye, holding daughter with the other, for hours, hormones crashing. My impression was that the title was ironic onlyin that the definition of a good mother was wavery. I Think that made me feelbetter.Ursulanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-79463281775669582882010-01-26T05:18:26.647-08:002010-01-26T05:18:26.647-08:00Gender bending. Let it begin.I've always prefe...Gender bending. Let it begin.I've always preferred wearing men's clothes, albeit semi seductively. I'm a huge fan of so called boy flicks. Get me to Spiderman and I'm happy. Batman more so. Darker, grittier, violent, that's fine with me. Go figure. My fiction is gritty and that seemed to be a problem at times. Yet I persist, I am who I am, right? It's really what I like about figuring out who Amelia is, because she made gender bending into an art form.rose duncanhttp://roseduncan.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-36795996281818299532010-01-25T18:44:42.187-08:002010-01-25T18:44:42.187-08:00you need more gay friends!!! :)
I just had this co...you need more gay friends!!! :)<br />I just had this conversation with my coworker who is gay. I mentioned that I felt that management of logistics was a woman's talent, and that i felt ashamed every time i drive a logistics project to completion. Clearly, i'm only good at the "non-important" stuff...<br />but my coworker said that he enjoyed the same stuff. SO why should i feel stigmatized for that? what is so "womanly" about getting a job done, however it happens, or manly for that matter? i'm me just because-- because of the life that molded me. sometimes i'm metro', sometimes i'm girly, sometimes i'm masculine. anyway, evolution is upon us. stigmas are becoming a thing of the past. all the colors & gender biases are running together, running downstream away from us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-59115839946853886722010-01-25T17:30:15.461-08:002010-01-25T17:30:15.461-08:00Every so often Newsweek or the like does a survey ...Every so often Newsweek or the like does a survey of the happiest people. I've never seen the questionaire but more than once the category of people most happy were the disabled. According to the Happiness Hypothesis this feeling is generated in the gap between what we have/are and what we want to have/be, i.e. if you've got it (like winning the lottery) you're in trouble. I've been pondering that. Ive also found that when you ask people to stop and measure whether they are happy most of them say yes and indeed have good reasons to be. I think you are addressing somethign else that makes noise throughout the day. I've met very few people without such noise; I am, though married to such a person and I've taken to deleting the word should as often as I can from my inner vocabulary. So I don't get up very early in the morning...but hey. One further thought; for me there is a bottom line of what I need to be happy, which I'd have to say is time. If I had it "all" and no time to call my own the latter would cancel out the former. So, maybe some people focus more on the minimal requirements and everything else is gravy (maybe introverts are like that? and others need the wide space to move into even if at times it feels like a burden. <br /><br />Must say its nice to see that your surrounded by so many happy friends. I'm a big fan of the chemistry argument these days. But chemistry feels so very real when you hit menapause.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01956343330435154610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-56592142861867055392010-01-25T14:49:32.649-08:002010-01-25T14:49:32.649-08:00I agree with Hallie's point that "having ...I agree with Hallie's point that "having it all" probably translates to "being happy with and understanding the value of what you have." I think that if anyone ever thought it meant being the best at multiple pursuits at once, they quickly found out that it's not doable. This makes me think of what I got out of reading Sue Miller's "The Good Mother." To me, she was saying "You can be 100% lover or 100% mother, but not both at the same time." I'm happy with a balance of family/work/time to space out, but the right mix is different for everyone.Cindy Handlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14335757520600623697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-77780862684196198122010-01-25T13:05:38.762-08:002010-01-25T13:05:38.762-08:00There are days I don't remember to breathe, bu...There are days I don't remember to breathe, but on the days I do, then I can see that I'm lucky. That this is all good. But the real problem is remembering to take that breath, to give myself a chance to step back and gain some perspective. I do wonder about all the pressures we put on ourselves, internal and external. And I do think with fondness of Leonard Cohen's years in a buddhist monastery.rose duncanhttp://roseduncan.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-86450197966827666582010-01-25T10:00:46.982-08:002010-01-25T10:00:46.982-08:00I totally agree with Ursula. I was never interest...I totally agree with Ursula. I was never interested in marriage or children, and that's freed me to lead a rather unconventional life that's been rich in experiences while operating on a shoestring budget. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's.mkendrick24https://www.blogger.com/profile/14649000520068080665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-56964250896152816322010-01-25T07:40:03.887-08:002010-01-25T07:40:03.887-08:00As always, depends on what "it" is. At t...As always, depends on what "it" is. At the Y there's an ad for a support group for "good-enough mothers." Porgy sang about having "plenty o' nuttin' ". So not everyone strives to have Everything, if that's what "it all" means. The word that trips us up is "having." It's more about "being" ... as Hallie said, contented; happy; not afraid.Ursulanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6638292761241716183.post-85630198725552872602010-01-25T07:23:32.349-08:002010-01-25T07:23:32.349-08:00What does having it all mean? Good question. I gue...What does having it all mean? Good question. I guess I feel like I do...knock wood and spit in the evil eye quick! Good marriage, children who have health insurance and are happy most of the time, enough money to travel to interesting places and not worry too much about paying the bills. Okay, I guess for me 'having it all' means being truly contented with what I have.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.com