Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Pardon my absence, that is if you notice

I've been here, but not here. I guess the ironies of the last two weeks are sinking in. In the last scene of the novel, Muriel gives the eulogy she's been writing in her head for years; the one she never got to give for her sister. It's honest, loving, critical, pure. In other words, it's what you want to have happen at the end of your life, you want to be remembered as you were. A friend of mine was musing about the eulogies given at my mother's memorial; everyone noted her rather prickly personality. There wasn't a fight she wanted to avoid, my mom. She was a battler right to the end. My friend was pondering what one would end up hearing about one's self, if people were honest and whether we'd be surprised. I responded saying we all do know our own foibles, we just hate to admit them. I think that's true. I have a feeling Amelia knew her own strengths and weaknesses, but knowing who you are has very little to do with wanting to change. And if it's working for you there's less incentive to change. I think Amelia's personality served her well, yet she was so distanced. Enclosed and safely away from her family, did she have regrets at the end? Who doesn't? Yet her regrets were obviously tempered by the things she accomplished.

My mother had too many regrets I would say. But then she had ample time to think about them, Amelia even cast away as she likely was, probably spent less time regretting and more time hoping for rescue. Still, at night I want to think that she lay there looking up at the stars and thought about home, about family, about the people who were close to her once and how far she'd come from them, and yet the unique bond they shared. I want to think that she may not have had regrets per se, but she did have things that were left unsaid. Things she might have wanted to relay, given the opportunity.

For more, read the book . . . and more on that later . . .

8 comments:

  1. I'm puzzling over the phrase "Enclosed and safely away from her family". What does it mean?

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  2. You got me, not really. I think I mean she was at a distance, safe from their endless demands, safe inside what I take to be a very shielded personality. I do think of her as enclosed, or perhaps closed off, ferocious in her determination but incredibly controlled and hidden emotionally.

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  3. Yeah, that's how I see her too. Interestingly, her friend Louise Thaden described her as a bit lonely, which I suppose would be the natural result of being so incredibly busy that you seldom have time to kick back and have quality time with your friends and loved ones.

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  4. Yes, purposefully busy I think too, also as you have mentioned economically stretched. But it would seem she had reason to keep her distance, at least in my view.

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  5. I was reading a book to my 10 yo son Jack recently, The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan, and I was interested to see Amelia Earhart mentioned in this novel. The premise of the novel is that Olympian gods like Zeus and Poseidon would get humans pregnant, and then the children would be Demigods- half god, half mortal. The book makes a reference to Amelia Earhart as a Demigod- I thought this was sorta cool.

    I agree with you that we tend to know our own foibles, but being able to change them doesn't always seem like much of an option.

    I'm wondering whether in researching the book you read any actual eulogies for Amelia? She disappeared and I think you mentioned once that there was no memorial service for her until over a year after her disappearance? I remember when JFK junior's plane disappeared, I just couldn't believe that he and his wife and sister-in-law were really dead, I kept thinking surely they parachuted out or something and would be found alive. It's odd how the mind just has a hard time accepting bad news unless there is absolute proof...so it must have been hard for Muriel and others to believe that Amelia had died. I'm glad Muriel gets to give a eulogy in your book, and you were able to give a eulogy for your mother. I hope you have a chance to absorb the past few weeks...it must be akin in some ways to losing a limb- it is an overall shock to the system- when the person who brought us into this world is no more. Thanks for communicating through this blog...

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  6. Colleen,
    Thanks for this post, it was so interesting. I didn't know Rick Riordan had made mention of her. But I sure know who he is, back when I was writing mysteries we became email friends. The mystery community is very supportive that way. You know, I wonder if there were eulogies, I doubt it somehow. Her mother believed she would be found right up till the day she died. I like to think that the real eulogies were ongoing, they were in the many speeches Muriel gave on her behalf.

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  7. That's cool that you are email friends with Rick Riordan. I enjoy the spunky humor in his action-packed novels, and that the series got started as a story-gift to his own son with ADHD, as the protagonist in his novel series has ADHD, dyslexia, and behavior problems (has been expelled from many schools).

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  8. Didn't know that, but that sounds really interesting. Going to have to take a look, see what a good friend I was. I bought one of his mysteries back when I believe. But life intervened.

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